Grief Due to Loss of Health
How to overcome the "why me?"
The duration of grief is different for each person. Once you begin to accept your loss, you can begin to feel better in the small details. For example, you may find it easier to get up in the morning, or you may have small bursts of energy. You will begin to reorganize your life around your loss. What I can do
- Know that it is okay to have grief - crying, feeling groggy, angry, or feeling whatever you are feeling.
- Talk about how you are feeling with friends, family, clergy, a counselor or support group, or your doctor
- Ask for help if you need it.
If you have just been diagnosed with breast cancer or any other type of cancer, chances are that you are feeling many different emotions: fear, anger, sadness, guilt, helplessness and anxiety. You may ask yourself: "why me?" Patients are often unsure what they will do and sometimes have to examine conflicting medical information and treatment advice.
In the very near future, you will need to acquire some new skills, including how to better communicate with doctors and other medical personnel, how to choose the best treatment options, and how to manage your own responses and those of your family and friends. Today, there is strong research data indicating that a patient's emotional well-being and having the support of others can be important to physical recovery.
Skills to cope with cancer
People face cancer like any other situation they have to face in life: each person does it in their own way. With time and practice, most find a way to carry out their jobs, hobbies, and relationships. They find a new or different way that allows them to live their lives to the fullest.
As you search for the best way to deal with the situation, you may want to try one of the following ideas:
- Learn as much as you can about your type of cancer and its treatment. For some people, learning about their cancer and its treatment gives them a sense of control over what is happening. Together with your cancer care team, we can answer your questions about cancer and help you find other resources.
- Express your feelings. Some people find that giving their feelings an outlet in some way can help them. Many people consider that expressing sadness, fear or anger is a sign of weakness. In fact, it's the opposite. It is much more difficult to express such powerful emotions than to try to hide them. Hiding your feelings can also make it harder to find effective ways to deal with them. There are many ways to express your feelings. Find the way that is right for you. You may consider talking to trusted friends or family, or keeping a personal journal. Some people express their feelings through music, painting, or drawing.
- Take good care of yourself. Take time each day to do something you enjoy. Cook your favorite food, hang out with a good friend or loved one, watch a movie, meditate, listen to your favorite music, or do whatever you really enjoy.
- Workout. If you want to do it, and your doctor thinks it's okay too, start a moderate exercise plan like walking, yoga, swimming, or stretching. Exercise can help you feel better about your body.
- Get others to help you. There may be times when it will be difficult to find strength and the situation will feel overwhelming. It is very difficult for anyone to deal with having cancer on their own. Try to expand your circle by reaching out to friends, family, or support organizations. These people can help you feel less lonely, as they will be there to share your fears, hopes, and triumphs during each stage of the experience.
Try to focus on what you can control, not what you can't. Finding ways to be hopeful can improve the quality of your life, but it will not determine whether you will beat cancer. Despite what you may hear, people's attitudes do not cause or cure cancer. It is normal to feel sad, stressed, or insecure, and even to regret how your life has changed. When this happens, expressing those feelings can help you feel more in control and not overwhelmed by emotions. It also frees up energy for all the other things to handle.
Your health team
Cancer treatment can be as difficult as the disease itself
Cancer is a serious and complex disease. To overcome it, you will need a team of healthcare professionals who have the input of several specific specialists for your recovery, including your primary care doctor and an oncologist, a specialist in the treatment of cancer. You will also likely see a surgeon as well as other specialists. A mental health professional is also an important member of the team. Psychologists and other mental health professionals work directly with patients and their families, as well as with the entire medical team, to help personalize patient medical decisions, monitor treatment side effects, improve communication, provide support. and improve recovery and emotional well-being.
For the patient, conventional cancer treatments, from surgery to chemotherapy, are traumatic in nature. However, in many cases they are known to save lives. Some patients may decide to make dietary and lifestyle changes as part of their main treatment regimen. Psychologists have techniques to facilitate and make the adoption of these new behaviors more successful.
Psychological interventions have also been shown to be highly effective in helping patients cope with the pain and symptoms of the disease as well as the adverse effects of treatment. For example, techniques used by psychologists can greatly reduce anxiety before surgery and decrease the nausea that often precedes and accompanies chemotherapy. Psychological interventions can also help most cancer patients who report debilitating pain. Psychological techniques can be used to create positive images, increase motivation to adopt new behaviors, and facilitate re-entry into the real world after medical treatment is completed.
The post-treatment period is often ignored; however, emotional recovery from the trauma of cancer treatment may take longer than physical recovery. Psychological services can help mitigate the long-term effects of cancer treatment.
