"Long distance never works."
"The seven-year itch is real."
"Children always kill romance."
“You cannot have love and a successful career. You have to choose."
You have likely heard at least one of these statements, or a variation on the theme, from someone you know. One of the most common myths about long-term relationships is that passion is only the beginning of a relationship and that it is almost impossible to know how to keep a relationship alive for the long term.
What is "the spark"? It's that feeling of butterflies in your stomach, the electricity that passes through you when you touch the person you love, that deep emotion. Some believe that it is inevitable that this feeling will fade and eventually disappear. This is a myth. While it's normal to lose the spark in a relationship when you're comfortable, you can always get it back. And there are steps you can take now to avoid losing the spark.
Whether you're in a new relationship and want to learn how to keep the spark alive or you've been with your partner for a while and want to learn how to bring the spark back to a relationship, Tony Robbins has the answers.
HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHEN A RELATIONSHIP LOSES ITS SPARK?
When you are with someone for many years, your relationship will naturally go through phases. Will find stressors in the relationship, such as financial problems and family obligations, which will shift your focus elsewhere, but you will know when you've really lost the spark in a relationship from these signs.
- No physical contact: intimacy is the difference between a friend and a partner, and it doesn't always mean sex. Holding hands, hugging, warm hugs, and giving compliments are part of intimacy , and the spark in a relationship depends on them.
- You no longer have "dates" Life gets busy for all couples, however, making time to go out and have fun together should be a priority. If you've stopped celebrating anniversaries and birthdays or dating nights, it's time to rekindle the spark.
- You stopped making an effort : las apariencias físicas cambian; es probable que envejezcas o incluso que gain a little weight long-term. But if he's not even interested in looking good and feeling healthy for his partner, that's a sign of trouble.
- You are less interested in spending time together When a relationship loses its spark, you may spend more time with your friends than with your partner. You may even find that you are very easily annoyed with them, causing you to punish your partner or completely avoided.
IS IT NORMAL TO LOSE THE SPARK IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
Yes, it is common for long-term couples to start wondering how to keep a relationship alive. The problem is not the loss of the spark in a relationship; the problem arises when couples lack the commitment to rekindle the romance. Unfortunately, this loss of passion and intimacy is often accepted in our society as inevitable. That is another myth. You never have to accept a relationship in which you feel something less than loved, admired, and wanted.
REASONS TO LOSE THE SPARK IN A RELATIONSHIP
Couples will cite countless reasons why their fire dies. Usually these reasons focus on not having enough time to spend together and slowly losing that connection that both treasured . That could be due to seemingly incompatible long-distance work schedules or increased responsibilities, such as looking after children and their needs. What could have been a temporary state of disconnection unconsciously becomes a habit. The priority for spending time together shifts from "tomorrow" or "next week" to "when things work out" and eventually fades to "never."
Less time together eventually leads to a loss of intimacy, which manifests as a loss of attraction. Loss of attraction leads to less communication between partners, initiating a cycle of negativity that turns into one of frustration and greater distance. Cease to be kind and loving to each other and they begin to treat each other like roommates.
There is no way to stay connected and intimate when you see each other only in passing while handling all of life's other obligations. You must refocus and commit if you want to learn how to keep the spark alive.
HOW TO KEEP A RELATIONSHIP ALIVE
Learning to keep the spark alive is possible. It takes more than just scheduling a date or two to make real, lasting change in a relationship. When both you and your partner are committed to rekindling the spark in a relationship, you will discover that anything is possible.
- CREATE
You have to create what you want, not just wait for it to happen or trust your partner to get to work. To be a good partner you need to be emotionally fit and go from wanting something to doing something. Think back to the beginning of your relationship: you were willing to do whatever it took to make that person happy. What are you willing to do now? You cannot expect anything to change without your participation.
- TALK TO YOUR PARTNER
When was the last time you really talked to your partner? To keep the spark alive, communication is a must. Talking doesn't just mean chatting for a few minutes before falling asleep. It means making plans for your future, understanding your partner's love language, and finding out what's on the other's mind. It means sharing a real emotional connection with your loved one and seeing things from her point of view.
Research shows that you need five times more positive than negative communications to have a good relationship, especially if you want an intimate one. It is easy to see the negative impact of people who feel closed and excluded from the sphere of their intimate partner. If you are wondering how to restore the spark to a relationship, you need to make good communication a top priority.
- GROWING UP
What attracts us to others is often another part of ourselves that we are not activating. So we feel resentful that those qualities shut down and stifle in the other person as communication deteriorates, manifesting as frustration with the relationship.
Relationships can become stale when routine and habit set in, and growth is the key to keeping a relationship alive. Promise to learn something new together, take a vacation to a place neither of you has ever been, or find an activity that you can experience together. To grow together rather than separate, you must be willing to put in the effort both individually and as a couple.
- PLAN SURPRISES
It sounds counterintuitive, but planning spontaneity can make a big difference for partners, especially when it comes to keeping the spark alive. Planning a surprise date is a great way to get out of the routine and show your partner that you are thinking about her. Block the time on your partner's calendar, but don't say what you will do. Then spend some quality time doing something you both enjoy, whether it's going for a drink or dinner, seeing a show, taking a walk, going on a weekend getaway, or even something like buying popcorn and drinks for a meal. fun movie night at home. Your partner will see that you care enough to spend time with him and will remember the reasons why you were involved in this relationship in the first place.
- STOP LIVING OLD STORIES
When a relationship loses its spark due to an event such as infidelity, or when trust has been lost for another reason, each partner must make a decision to consciously move forward. This means truly forgiving them and letting go of the old disappointments that you are holding on to. This moment is the only thing that is real and embracing forgiveness for all those who have hurt you in the past, especially your partner, is the only way to truly step into our present.
Don't filter your partner through a past story. That's old news and it's over. Instead, think about what will make that person feel loved and seen right now. When you release the past, you can love your partner for who they really are and discover how to keep a relationship alive in a new context.
- GIVE
As Tony says, "The secret to living is giving," and this certainly applies to relationships. Giving shows that you are making your partner a priority and is a vital key to keeping the spark alive. Remember, if you don't contribute anything, you get nothing. If she gets nothing, she is likely to feel insignificant and unloved. Instead, think about what you can give your partner to make them feel full and seen, and understand that they are your top priority. Go further than your partner expects and you will be each other's number one fan.
Create surprises and connection opportunities, not obstacles. When you recreate how you acted at the beginning of your relationship, you can easily learn how to keep a relationship alive and make sure it is one of the most satisfying parts of your life.
Posted by: Team Tony
Source: https://www.tonyrobbins.com/love-relationships/keeping-the-spark-alive/
Maintaining a good relationship is not easy, but with effort and effort every day the relationship can turn to the best of experiences lived, although this depends on both parties, but taking the first step will make a difference to achieve improvement A relationship, patience, service and samples of love towards the beings we love the most will achieve great improvements in your relationship, a good relationship will always polish us and help us to be better.
-Dan Sifuentes
